February 2010 In My Good Books

Have you written your thank you letters yet? In the weeks after Christmas, my mother used to make me write letters to everyone I had received presents from, irrespective of whether I had thanked them in person. I can't remember whether this included my parents! This month I am commending a book that examines in awesome detail the whole phenomena of giving thanks. But first I should confess that this is not a book I have read through completely. The book is long and detailed, although never boring, and I simply have not had the time to do each chapter justice. Yet! Visser has done us a tremendous favour in this book. She has deconstructed the complex elements involved in the process of giving thanks, and has clearly described and analyzed them. In a book of nearly 400 pages (not including notes and index) she gives us short chapters that each focus on different aspects of thanksgiving. It is the book for which the phrase,"Who knew?" was invented. Who knew there were 27 different aspects to giving thanks? Who knew that the process was so complicated? Who knew that different countries and cultures do it so differently — if at all?

The book is so fascinating because we know how to do this, we have been brought up and socialized to do this, and yet we do not know what we are doing. We do not recognize the social conventions involved. Let me give you one example. We all know that lying is wrong. But we also know that we are expected to express gratitude for any gift, no matter how unwelcome it is. When someone gives you something, you say thank you. It's simple. So it's okay to lie when saying thank you, in fact it's expected. So how do we know if someone is really grateful...? The complexities go on and on.

Reading this book, as I say about many things, is like looking in a mirror. We suddenly see our society and ourselves in a new light. And Visser's scholarship, though she is Canadian, extends beyond contemporary North American and European cultures. She gives us insights from history, from the world's cultures and from animals. She delves into the Roman and Greek roots of many of our behaviour patterns. She uses sociological and anthropological sources. But all of this is done in a way that is accessible, and you never feel like you are reading a dry academic thesis.

There is one thing she deliberately leaves out. The thing that you and I would most love to read about is her perspective on "the thanksgiving," the Eucharist. I know, from a CBC interview, that she is a practicing Christian, and that she has considered and spoken about the Eucharist in this context. I deeply hope that her reflections will emerge, maybe as a book in their own right. I will end with Visser's own conclusions. "Gratitude is of inestimable importance to all societies...it also contributes to the spiritual well-being of every person, but especially of those who are thankful."